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The Big Suke Experience
Night of Utube Utube just might be the greatest website ever. You can spend hours just roaming the site with no real purpose and feel great about it. Here is a look at my wanderings over last night. Bo Jackson is the greatest video game athlete of all time. That is fact. I present this clip as evidence. This is the best Music Video I have seen in years. Johnny Cash's Gods Gonna Cut You Down. I owned a VHS copy of this New York Mets Video in 86. Lets go Mets go. And yes I know it's sad and pathetic. Coolest thing you could ever do before a game. The All Blacks doing the Haka If De La Hoya Mayweather let you down, here you go. The greatest round of boxing ever. Haglar vs Hearns Round 1 High School Football In Texas Folks High school football is big all over the country, but as the old saying goes everything is bigger in Texas. Take a look at what it takes to get tickets at Southlake Carroll high in Dallas, Texas. You say there's no way you'd do that just to get into a high school football game? Well take a look at this play from Southlake's state title game last year. The QB pukes before and after he throws the game winning touchdown. I might just camp put for that. I want that kid playing on my team. Judging A Book By Its Cover I was sitting in my daily show meeting pretending to listen to boss Dennis Glasgow, but in reality was thinking about what to do for lunch Chinese or sandwich, I went Chinese by the way and it was fantastic. When something caught my eye, the new fan intern went walking by the office. Now I know nothing about this young man, as I never do with interns. For some reason they never talk to me, ever. There is a unspoken barrier that they all erect between themselves and me. I have never understood this but am way to lazy to ever try and break down these walls. But there was something about this intern, this nameless go-getter that immediately gave me that good old-fashioned feeling that he was a total putz. The moment I saw him the red flag went up. The hat he was wearing said it all, not only was it a red Yankee hat, but the brim was completely flat, the coffee table look if you will. Double whammy in my book and a sure fire sign that we are not going to get along. So I decide to put together the following list of red flags to watch out for when making that ever important first impression. Now granted these are simply guidelines not steadfast rules, but more often than not these are dead on. Ten red flags to watch for when judging a book by its cover 10. The flat hat bill. There’s just no excuse for this look. Especially when combined with the following, tags still attached and or the non-team color hat aka red or green Yankee hat. This is almost a 100 percent success rate in predicting a rube. 9. Confederate flag. If you meet somewhere wearing one of these and they are not directly related to General Lee you know your dealing with a wanna be of galactic proportions. 8.Hair color that exists in the rainbow. Red, Blue, Green etc. You show me that and I’ll show you a person who got beat up a lot in high school and is trying way to hard to prove that they enjoy being different when all they really want is the cool people to invite them to the big party at Buffy’s house. 7. Black Make up. Former New Kids on the Block fan+ 10 years + crappy job= black make up. 6.Cursing If the first 3 sentences someone says to you contain 9 swear words that person is a idiot. 5. Laughing. If upon meeting someone they start laughing before you’ve said anything remotely funny, you should start to hate them 4. Novelty shirts and hats. Any thing with the words Farts, Boobs, Penis etc on it lets you know the type of person your dealing with. 3. Superfan. This person is wearing more than two pieces of fan gear at one time. Such as the Oregon Duck hat, shirt and jacket combo. This person is dangerous and you should run the other way before they go off. 2. Sunglasses indoors. Two words, Pompous Ass 1.Game ready guy. This evil fiend is ready just in case a pick up game of basketball breaks out. Hightops are laced up, wristbands on , and a knee brace just waiting out in the car. At anymoment this guy might box you out for the big rebound or kill you with a hour long JV High School story. If fact your better off being safe and just shooting this person for your sake and everyone around you. I hope this helps all of you out when making snap judgments on whether to like someone upon seeing them in a hallway. I know they make my life a lot easier. Good luck and God Speed. MAIL TIME Time to open up the old mailbag and see what you the reader have been asking me. If you could have been at any one sporting event in the history of sports what would it be? Dave in Portland Great question and one I have thought about often. There are so many to choose from it is not a easy task to come up with just one. Ali vs Frazier has to be on the list, The Miracle on Ice is always near the top for me. I would want it to not only be a great sporting event but one that also transcended sport and became a part of history. Which both of my previous mentions do, but I think I would have to go with Jesse Owens at the Berlin Olympics. Looking back at the footage it's almost surreal to see the Nazi party and Hitler presiding over the games and Jesse making a mockery of the notion that there was a master race. I have been to that stadium in Germany and you can still feel the historical significance being there all these years later and I can only imagine what it would have been like to see it in person. You are always bagging on Mixed Martial Arts, have you ever even seen a UFC fight? MMA is here to stay and will soon be one of the 4 major sports, unlike boxing which you are always popping off about. How can you like a sissy sport like boxing and not MMA? Darren in the Couve First off yes I have seen many a UFC fight and even enjoyed one or two. But no I don’t think it will ever be a major sport and it will never over take boxing for me. By the way, how can you bag on boxing when half of a UFC fight is two guys pretending to be boxers swinging away at one another without much success? I have a lot of respect for MMA fighters it just doesn’t interest me. I find it boring and plodding. Most fights seem to be over in about 2 minutes or drag on for 9 hours without any action. Boxing to me will always be the sweet science. Watching to greats in the boxing ring is a beautiful thing to behold, a UFC fight is two guys with bad tattoos and bad haircuts rolling around in blood. For me at least half the time I tune in a high school wrestling match breaks out and I have no desire to pay 50.00 bucks to see it. Suke, is it wrong to find underage celebrity girls attractive? And if so when is it ok for me to have those thoughts about them? Jeff in Tigard Jeff I really hope your joking here. But just in case I have called the police and they will be at your house any minute to search your computer and that should give you the answer you seek. Who is the greatest video game athlete of all time? Mark in Portland Well this is a easy one. It’s Bo Jackson and LT from Techmo Bowl. This is without debate and is not a opinion but rather a fact. The world has never seen dominance like what these two brought to the table. With Bo the other guy could pick your play and you could still go for an 80 yard score. With LT you could rush the passer miss the QB and still drop back 80 yards and get the INT before Tim Brown could hall it in. And while these two are head and shoulders above every one else there are some other cyber athletes that deserve some credit.
The other day you were talking about the greatest sports nicknames of all time? Give me your top ten? Brain You ask and you shall receive. In no particular order.
Keep the questions coming and I will keep sending you the answers. Email Me
Wes Makin Delta Strike Force Action News Team. AKA the Dirty Dozen It was not an easy task selecting this elite fighting force. I received over a hundred emails filled with even more nominees but alas I could only pick 12. That’s not to say that the people left off couldn’t head over to North Korea to kick some ass with the Action News team, just that they didn’t make the first cut. Let’s lay down the ground rules for making the team as laid out by listener Wes Makin for whom the team was named for.
With all the red tape taken care of, lets get down to the Dirty Dozen. 12. Leonidas from 300 (Gerard Butler)-In a monumental moment for the Dirty Dozen we have made a addition to the team. While I said that I would never change the list, anyone that listens to the show knows thats my hypocrisy knows no bounds. I am sad to announce that Maxiums will not be coming with us to fight the North Koreans. His role will be filled by none other than Leonidas from the movie 300. Not only will he be added to the team but he will lead us into battle. I feel bad about demoting Dutch and booting Maximus but there is just no other man I feel comfortable with entrusting the lives of my men. Not only did he do nothing but kick ass the entire movie from child to king, in victory and death. He had about 15 different chill moments in the movie that sent shivers up your spine and made you want to fight by his side. He just might be the coolest man in movie history. Ropp made a useless attempt to block his addition with William Wallace and took me to the people's court where he lost a landslide decision 6-1. Wallace is a great man but he is no Leonidas. This team now feels complete and I can rest easy knowing King Leonidas is at the helm. 11. John McClane from Die Hard- He may not be the pure bad ass that others on this team are, but he’s got guts and sometimes that’s enough. Fills the law enforcement slot as well. Let’s be honest, there are some that aren’t making it out alive, and you know McClane will lay it all on the li, ne for the News Team. 10. Rambo John J- Possibly the easiest choice on t, he team. He might not need the other 11 t, o take out the entire North Korean Army. He’s that bad. In the words of Col. Troutman, " If you send that many men after Rambo, just , remember one thing……a good supply of bags." 9. Major Scott McCoy /Chuck Norris from Delta Force- He’s Chuck Freakin Norris, enough said. He fills so many roles on the team, demolitions, karate expert, rocket motorcycle, and kick ass beard. The tag line to the Delta Force movie is, "they don’t negotiate with terrorists, they blow them away." 8.Major Dutch from Predator-. You knew Arnold was going to make the team, it was just a mater of who he was going to 7.Beatrix Kiddo /Uma Thruman from Kill Bill- I know there has to be a hot chick on the team, but I will only allow one, which made this a tough competition. Ripley from Aliens was brought up a lot, Linda Hamilton from T2 was a popular c, hoi, ce, but I need a Ninja on this team and Kiddo is the deadliest women in the , world. 6.Jack Bauer from 24-The onl, y TV man to make the team. How can you go fight the North Koreans without Jack. He just might be the toughest SOB in TV history. 5.Rooster Cogburn / John Wayne from True Grit –Again not a easy desicion to choose my old west member. There were many worthy but only one was chosen. I had to go with the Duke. Plus his name is Rooster,. He’s a one eyed drunken US Marshal who goes double shotgun walking into a gun fight. 4. Casey Ryback/ Steven Segal from Under Siege- Yes its Steven Segal, but this was before he started to super suck. He kicked a lot of ass in Under Siege, plus he was a cook and the Action News Team needs to eat. 3.Sargent Barnes / Tom Berenger from Platoon- Flat out the scariest character from a war movie ever. That scared face screams let’s go kick some ass. He served like 4 voluntary tours in Nam, that gets you on the team. 2.Martin Riggs / Mel Gibson from Lethal Weapon – Former Special Forces man with nothing to lose. Doesn’t fear dying because he’s S**t house nuts. This was a hard one, Mel had tough competition from himself in William Wallace and Mad Max. Wallace would have made it but I already had Maximus. Riggs is a solid choice here. Every team needs a crazy Murdock, Riggs is mine. 1. Blaine/ Jesse the Body from Predator- Maybe the most controversial figure on the list. I went back and forth on this one for over an hour, but the bottom line is this. I don’t want old painless in the jungle with me, I NEED old painless in the jungle with me.
The Oden/Durant Debate There has been plenty of debate lately over who should be the first pick in this years up coming NBA draft, Greg Oden or Kevin Durant. Now I must say all of this is contingent on wether both these guys come out after one year, which most seem to think they will. After all when you are the #1 or 2 overall pick why do you come back? You can't go any higher but you can drop lower. Look no further than Florida's Joakim Noah who probably would have been the top pick last year but chose to come back and now finds himself behind several other players including a teammate of his on most NBA draft boards. So let's just assume both come out, who do you take? Durant is clearly the better player right now. He has no weakness in his game. 26 points, 9 boards, 2 steals and 2 blocks per game as a freshman can't be argued. He is as good a freshman as maybe we have ever seen in the game. But do you take the 6'8 swingman over the 7 foot center? Some will say the center is a dying breed in the NBA, but look at the last 8 NBA champs, 7 of those teams involve guys named Duncan or Shaq. The other had Ben Wallace, certainly no slouch in the middle himself. Some will point to Oden's offensive game and say it just isn't there, but when you look at his numbers compared to Duncan and Shaq's first year in college you will see he is right there with them. And he played half the season with one hand. If he develops the offensive game to go along with a NBA ready defensive set, he could be the next great big man. The history of the NBA tells you the big guy is the key to winning it all. After all who would you rather have, Tracy McGrady who Durant draws comparisons or Tim Duncan with whom Oden is? Oden's Freshman Numbers
Duncan's Freshman Numbers MIN FG% 3P% FT% RPG APG TPG BPG SPG PPG Shaq's Freshman Numbers MIN FG% 3P% FT% RPG APG TPG BPG SPG PPG But hey it isn't that easy, after all that Jordan guy never had a dominate big man and he seemed to do ok for himself. A Great Way to Waste Some Time
Can't find anything to do at work, go check out www.stardoll.com You can dress up 100's of celebrities including Tom Brady, 50 Cent, and Tyra Banks. I haven't decided if this is little shady or not but I just spent the last 15 minutes dressing up Dennis Rodman, so maybe it's too late for me. Run away now, before they get you too.
What Scares Us
Sorry the BRE has been slow posting the last week or so, I have been battling a nasty little flu bug that at the end of the day has been requiring heavy doses of Nyquil to combat which has left me in a state that makes it impossible to post. I got out of bed this weekend a collective 25 minutes, but for Monday I have sucked it up and am back at the keyboard. Last Friday I was on AM northwest doing my top 15 things men are afraid of and have gotten a ton of requests to put it up. Who am I to argue with the masses, men hide the women, here you go. Top 15 Things Men Are Scared Of 15.Growing old: Men are prideful creatures and nobody wants to believe there will come a time that some 15 year old punk will be able to beat you up, or worse Nurse Ratchet smacking you around. But deep down we all know it’s coming and it scares us to death. Women think they are the only ones who have body issues, BS. From the time we hit 7th grade gym class till our 65 birthday when we somehow stop caring nothing can jam up a man like having to get buck in front of other men. This is why all men should play sports to force them to get over this irrational fear. Go to a gym and it’s easy to spot the guy that doesn’t fit in. Wandering around like a lost puppy trying to emulate the really buff guy doing like 900 on the bench. This is truly a sad sight. Men measure themselves by the things we have. Go to other mans house that has more and it’s like getting your cash and prizes cut off. This goes for cars, wives, boats, clothing, you name it. Everything is a competition in the mind of the moronic man. 11.Dancing No man should ever be comfortable in a situation that might require him to dance. You should always have a old sports injury to fall back on or be in the middle of getting drinks to avoid the dance floor. No one wants to admit it, but most of us will have to face it. When it happens to you and you first notice that spot you will never forget that day. For me, March 23 2000. I am still bitter as well. You say we worry about it more than you, please, I don’t see many hot broads staying with dudes that can’t work the equipment. Men are problem solvers by nature. Something is broken, we will come up with a solution. Whether it’s a car, sink , or a women’s emotional problem, we need to fix it. Like kryptonite to a man. But do it to often ladies, and your man will run away like Superman. Failure doesn’t bother us, but rejection does. A girl leaves you, no big deal. She leaves you for that A-hole down the hall, now we have issues. Again men are prideful creatures. Nothing can shake a man to his core like the loss of his one true dog. One of the 8 acceptable situations for a man to cry at. Nobody wants his son to be a dumbass or have his daughter end up on the pole. This keeps us up at night. When you don’t have money for the phone or lights, you might as well go buy some elastic jeans and just give up. This one is tough for men to get over and gets harder the older you get. Men are still working on this one well after they are getting the early bird at their local Denny’s. Again, it all comes back to pride. It is man’s great attribute and his greatness weakness. In the movie “The Devil’s Advocate “ Al Pacino (Satan) says that pride is his favorite and most underrated sin. Most problems men are having are either caused by or magnified by pride. And nothing stings more that having that pride assaulted in public. Well there you go. The real truth behind what keeps men up at night. Agree, disagree, let me know.
, How did these never take off?
29.95 to look and kick like Chuck Norris, where do I order? Look at the close up, truly classy.
Big Suke's All Media Football Team
The all Media team is finally here and I want to give a hardy thanks to all who sent in their nominations. It was certainly no easy task to compile this elite group of athletes and some positions were particularly difficult to decided, none being tougher tha, n Quarterback. But unlike the , Pac-10, I will have the stones to choose but one player at each pos, ition. There will be none of this 4 first team RB or QB's. Feelings will be hurt and I'm sure, grudges will be carried, but what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger so lets get down to brass tax. Rules for making the squad 1.No reality based players. If the character is portraying some real football player or is a professional football player, then he is out. That being said, you will find no one from Friday Night Lights, Remember the Titans or Rudy. Dan Marino from Ace Ventura and the collection of pro-cameos from the Longest Yard are not eligible. Not that anyone from Rudy would be on this team, cause that movie sucks. The only exception may be that nameless lineman that kicks the crap out of Rudy like 100 times during one of the practices. That is the only scene in the movie that is at all realistic. 2.There will be 23 players selected along with 3 co, aches. There will be no punter as we will go for it on every 4th , down, but with this level of talent I can't see many 4th downs in this team's future. 3.There , is really no rhyme or r, eason for being selected on this team. The only thing for sure is that your stats in the movie have little to do with it. I’m looking for intangibles here baby. Offense T-Bud Lite Kaminski (Brent Shaffer) "The Program" Singing O-lineman gets a major role in a major motion picture and a spot on this team. G- Andre and Jamal Jackson (Faizon Love and Michael Taliferro) "The Replacements" These two brothers can man both guard spots for me. Previous job was as bodyguards to Old Dirty Bastard. Plus gives much needed street cred to this team. C- Manumana (Peter Navy Tuiasosopo) "Necessary Roughness" That guy just looks like a center TE- Lump Hudson (Ryan Hurst) "The Lady Killers, " Physical specimen turned criminal who is involved in maybe the funniest football scene ever filmed. WR- David Wooderson (Matthew McConaughey) "Dazed and Confused" This all city WR is a must have on any team. He’s got a little coin in his pocket and knows how to keep his teammates loose. Possibly the coolest football player of all time. <, P>WR-Wesley Snipes (Trumanie) "Wildcats" This smooth WR provides big play ability with his speed and play calling abilities, "double reverse I’ll take it". Also excels in half time motivational speeches, " Lets go eat some P***y". RB- Al Bundy (Ed O’neil) "Married with Children" Scored 4 touchdown in one game. Got his # 33 because that’s how deep the line was to ride the wild Bundy. FB- Billy Cole (Billy Blanks) "The Last Boy Scout" Before his Tai Bow tapes took off Billy Blanks was running wild and shooting opposing players in the knee caps for the LA Stallions. Sure he does a lot of blow, but you know he’s gonna give it his all. QB- Stan Gable (Steve McKinnley) "Revenge of the Nerds" The toughest decision to make for this team was right here K- Gus the mule (Gus the Mule) “Gus” There could be no other player here. I'm checking into the
Offensive Coordinator- Wayne Hister (Paul Gleason) "Johnny be Good" Even up 45-10 in the state championship game, this guy still wants more. He also delivered the greatest pre game speech of all time. "It’s about winning and nothing else. I don’t care what those Pinkos over in Russia say, you want to be a loser you go to Russia. I’m a winner, I’m Ameri, can." Head Coach- John Goodman (Coach Harris) "Revenge of the Nerds" Throughout the entire movie he is ready to coach a game no matter what the situation. He backs his players no matter what and carries unprecedented support of his university. " When you were just a baby, your father looked down on you and had but one dream. That one day his son would become a man. Now look at you, you just got your asses whipped by a bunch of G** damn nerds."
Defense (we will run the 3-4 scheme) DE- Fred "The Ogre" Palo, wakski (Donald Gibb) from "Revenge of the Nerds." Truly one of the greatest football related, performance we have ever seen on the big screen, even though we never actually see him play. But he is the last one standing after the liquid hea, t in the jock strap gag, and that's good enough for me. NT-Phillip Finch ( Tab Thacker ) from "Wildcats" Anybody that wont play high school football unless the coach pa DE-Chris Vaughn (the Rock) from "Walking Tall" Football player turned Nay Seal, turned town sheriff with hot stripper girlfriend = a spot on this team. LB-Charles Jefferson (Forest Whitaker) "Fast Times at Ridgemont High." Truly the anchor of this defense. He won't have to attend any classes just show up on game day. "First he’s gonna s**! Then he’s gonna kill us." "Relax, my old man is a TV repairman with an ultimate set of tools. I can fix this." LB- Bobby Boucher (Adam Sandler) "Waterboy" Do I really need to go into his selection. He was a lock. LB-Alvin Mack (Duane Davis) "The Program" A nice stable mate to Charles Jefferson on the inside. With these two in the middle no one will be running on us or talking better trash. LB-Brain (Chris Penn) "All the Right Moves" 6-2 monster stack, 6-2 monster stack. Would have gone on and played at USC but knocked up his girlfriend. Single handily shutdown the offensive power that was Walnut Heights. CB- Dr. Death (Vister Hayes) "The Best of Times" The best CB ever to play in the movies. CB-Stefen Djordjevic (Tom Cruise) "All the Right Moves" Where did Tom Cruise go wrong? Not in this movie for sure. SS-David Greene (Brendon Fraser) "School Ties" Big athlete that provides depth at QB as well. Started both ways for prestigious High School Academy despite being hated for being Jewish. Also excels in naked shower fights with teammates. FS- Zachary Sack Lodge (Bradley Cooper) "Wedding Crashers" Plays a mean game of two hand touch football with the knee high socks. The man can just plain hit. Defensive Coordinator- Luther Van Dam (Jerry Van Dyke) "Coach" There were many qualified candidates for this job,
COULD AL DAVIS BEING ANY CRAZIER?
Raider nation, this man is in charge of your team. You can feel the crazy coming him. And look at Kiffin in the corner just trying not to laugh at his boss who is Sh*t house nuts.
Things to do in Denver when your dead John Canzano recently wrote a piece about cardiologist Jeffrey Werner, who when finding, out that he was dying of lung cancer wrote up a list of things he wanted to do before he died then began to cross off as many as he could. If you haven't rea, d it, take a look, it one of the better things I have read in awhile and stands out as one of John's Finest. I made a list much like Werner's while I was in college, and fortunately for me there wasn't any life threating illness behind my list, just something I did in my spare time. I have been fortunate enough to check some of the off but there is still many a task left to do and I thought I would share with you the BRE faithful some of my list. Things I have , alread, y accomplish, ed
Things yet to be crossed off my list
What are some of yours? Big Suke's Guide to Late Night TV As I lay here on my couch unable to sleep, I wander the late night TV landscape in search of something half way decent to watch. Who among us hasn't been on this epic journey around the dial? It's the one thing that brings us all together, from the mightiest king to the lowliest peasant, who doesn't yearn for something to watch at 2 AM? So I thought I would give you,the BRE faithful, some programs to look out for on your clicking journey that can fill those crucial moments in your late night life until you realize that you only have 4 hours of sleep possible before you have to get up for work and that you better get your arse to bed. The 4 hour mark is the magic number, after that you hit the point where the voice in your head says, "well since I am only going to get 3 hours sleep anyway, I might as well stay up all night" It's this voice that gets you fired and divorced, but that's a story for another day. Let us move onto my........ Top, Ten Late Night Programs 10 ESPN Classic. You're never really sure what your gonna get, and that's half the fun. You might get the Mets VS the Sox in game 6, my personal favorite to watch. Or you might get the 1999 Capital One Bowl featuring Wake Forest. The bottom line is this, i, t's 2 AM and you will watch just about anything relating to sports about now. Some nights those crappy bowl games can even beat even the true classics. It's also fun to watch baseball games from the late 80's compared to now and then try and convince yourself everybody isn't on the juice now. 9 ESPN 2. Wor, ld's Strongest Man. Always a wise move to flip to the deuce when after midnight. I believe it's a law in some states to show the WSM in the wee hours of the morning. It's a bonus if you happen to catch one from the late seventies before the Swedes were dominating the dojo. Ken Petara's hair alone is worth watching. 8 Home Shopping Network. Knife Show. There's something intoxicating about these two hillbillies selling crappy cutlery at bargain rates that makes you watch. You, can also play a drinking game with how many , times they say, this deal will never be offered again. No man should get this excited over a bowie knife and some cheesy Lord of the Rings knock off m, ovie prop, but it's fun to watch. Do not have your credit near you when watching, you've been warned and I have the Bowie knife to prove it. 7 Cinemax. Enough said here gentleman. 6 Sci Fi Channel. Any movie staring Lorenzo Lamas or a actor of his caliber, IE Eric Roberts, and a giant mutated animal of some sort always makes for great late night viewing. I'm a big fan of Raptor Island which stars all three. 5 USA network. It's hit and miss but if your lucky you can find some late night Walker Texas Ranger on, which is like 4 History Channel. You can never go wrong here. Learn something new every time and then bust it out at your next social function and pretend you actually read a book for once. Great way to appear smarter and more refined than your sorry ass really is. 3 Nick at Night. Charles in Charge and the Cosby Show anyone? 2 Comedy Central. The late night ?Secret Stash? ,where you can watch R rated films unedited on basic cable. I don't know why this is so cool, but it makes you feel like your doing something wrong and getting away with it. 1 Road House. It's the single greatest thing you can ever watch late at night. As one of my readers wrote in.
I hope this helps you in your late night wanderings. I have to go now as I have hit the 4 hour mark. Better get my butt in bed.
Mailbag-You ask the questions, I give you the answers. Name: Ryan Blodgett-Why don't ya'll care more about motocross? Washougal MX Park hosts the US Motocross Series. The racing is epic with kids risking their lives for the sport they love. Suke-I love emails like this. From random people outraged at the fact that we don?t talk about whatever fringe activity that they are into. Ryan, the racing may be epic and lives may be at risk, but nobody cares outside of the 12 people that show up and that doesn?t make for good radio. I am still waiting for someone to email me about cockfighting, and yes my fingers are crossed. Name: KEVIN GIARD- I'm really into the two most white trash dominated sports, the WWE and any type of MMA. I saw recently that Brock Lesnar is going to try his MMA luck. Who do you think would win if he were to step into a ring with essentially no rules against say a Bob Sapp? I also think MMA might be a good alternative route for Tyson.... Suke-First off, thank you for having the self-awareness to admit that you are into white tras, h dominated sports. Maybe you could hook up with Ryan and head off to the Washougal M, X, Park to see epic racing and kids risking their lives for the sport they love. Brock Lesnar would be a natural for MMA. People forget they he was an All-American wrestler in college so he obviously has a skill set. Plus he?s roided to the gills so he?s got that going for him. But if that doesn?t wo, rk out, much like WWE and the NFL, he could always try his hand at the Washougal MX Park. Or better yet Lesnar and Tyson should team up and wander the countryside to fight crime ala Kung FU. If you put those two in a reality series kicking down doors and busting up 7-11 hold ups, pure gold. You can throw Tonya Harding in as a side kick who looks up to those two as father figures and you would have kind of a Hogan Knows Best meets Dog the Bounty Hunter. Name: Bill from Hood River- Another question: If you were on death row and offered one last meal, what would it be? For me, I'd choose a bowl of unpopped popcorn, so when they flipped the switch, I'd swell up like a bag of Jiffy Pop. Suke-Great question and answer Bill. Your question sent me into a deep state of thought as I pondered about what my last meal would be. It would obviously be fun just to ask for your jailer?s liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. But for actual meals, besides the popcorn of course, I think I would have to go the finest food ever stuffed with the second. Lobster stuffed with tacos it is. Name: Pastor Phil Do you think ASD ought to change their rules about residence to prevent kids from using their auntie's, address to transfer to East to play hoops? Name: Jimmy The Weasel-Suke, What would happen if I was born without skin? I'm scared. Jimmy The Weasel Suke-First off, anyb, ody names Jimmy the Weasel belongs on the BRE. Jimmy you should be scared. Being born without skin would certainly suck. Maybe you could head to KFC and get some chicken skin as a replacement, but then you would run the risk of eating yourself during a midnight munchies attack. I could eat a whole bucket oof that stuff. You truly should be afraid. While we are on the topic of things we should be scared of?.
Thanks for the emails. , Keep asking the questions and I?ll keep answering them. Until next time, Sometimes I think life is just a rodeo, the trick is to ride and make it to the bell. Suke Ask Suke a Question. What bugs me Thursday ,With all the short shows this week and the whole guest host Ian is leaving thing, by the way thank you very much Ian for making my life a pain in the arse, we didn't get a chance to play what bugs you Wednesday. So this is kind of like a giant what bugs me in my life. The Ian leaving and sending my life into a tail spin is not included but is generally implied. Hope you enjoy, here you go.
Don't even get me started. Got something you want to add. Drop me a line ASK SUKE MAILBAG Let us reach deep into the dark corners of my listeners and see what they come up with shall we. Who do you think wins in a fight between Chuck Norris and Adam West(aka Batman)? Dave in Gladstone Suke: Dave, first off, great question and one that required a bit of thought. I first had to ask mysel, f whether or not Adam West had the bat Costume. Without it, Chuck Norris wouldn?t even waste his time with him, he would simply send his beard to roundhouse kick him in the face and that would be that. But with the utility belt, things would get interesting. Batman would surly have some kind of Chuck Norris repellent in his arsenal. After all, he did have bat shark repellent spray in the original movie, Batman is always prepared for any situation. Still even with the repellent, Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris. It?s close but Norris wins with a 7th round KO. By the way, other celebrity fights I would l, ove to see. Captain Kirk vs. Captain Buck Rogers. He-Man vs. Conan the Barbarian, Hannibal from the A-team vs. the old judge from Hardcastle and McCormick. With all the uproar recently over LenDale White spitting on teammates and it being the worst thing ever. What is the worst thing you can do to another man in sports? Jason in Portland Suke: I never fully understood the whole spitting being the worst thing you could do to someone. I would much rather ge, t spit on then kicked in the nads, gouged in the eye, or simply punch in the face for that matter. Is spit really that bad? But maybe that?s just me. As far as the worst thing you can do, I have to go with the slap in the face for two reasons. First, it can hurt like a son of gun if done properly, see Rick Fair. Second there is nothing more degrading that being slapped by another man. If a man slaps you and you don?t immediately kick his ass you should have to immediately turn in your card and members only jacket. Doubly bad if the man slapping goes bitchslap style with the back of the hand. Emotionally and physically scaring all at once. What is the best thing you have on your desk at work? Jerry in the Couv Suke: Well Jerry I think that?s a pretty subjective question. I don?t know if I could pick just one that would satisfy everyone?s definition of cool. Here is a brief list of things that adorn my desk and I will let you decide.
What?s the funniest word you can thing of? Dave Suke: This much like my favori, te movie of all time is constantly changing and rotating between like 8 candidates. But as of right now wiener is at the top of my list. I was recently playing in a scramble golf tournament when a friend of mine, we will call him Eric because well that his name, shanks one onto the highway and drops "I hate when I do that, I?m such a wiener." I?m laughing right now just thinking about it. When on the golf course, is there ever a inappropriate time to drop a Caddyshack quote? Tim Suke: Tim, simply put no. Caddyshack might be the most quotable movie of all time (Anchorman is gaining though) and it is always, a good move to drop one on the course. My personal favorite is to mix it up a bit and as your about to tee off throw out a "Gambling is illegal at (inserted course your playing) and I never slice" Followed by DAMN!!! No matter where your ball goes. But don?t try and quote if you don?t know the lines. There?s nothing worse than the bumbling idiot who tries to be clever and doesn?t even come close to getting the words right. Know your Caddyshack or don?t even try. Got a question I can help you with, drop me a line and see what the doctor says. Something for all of us
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D52rJd9GX10 (Cut and paste the link to watch. Youtube won't allow direct links to it's site) . Cool Guys I was talking to a friend the other day and the topic of cool guys came up. Th, is lead to a very awkward conversation that bordered on gay, but what the hell, we went down that road anyways and thought I would share it with you the BRE faithful. First we had to debate just what makes up a cool guy and there are some fine lines in there. Cool guys have to be able to pull chicks, but can't be a total candy ass. Patrick Swayze in Roadhouse cool guy, Swayze in Ghost, not so much. After much debate we came to the conclusion that the ultimate factor in determining cool is simply would you want to hang out with the guy. Case in point, if Tom Cruise calls to hang out do you go? Not unless he's buying. Harrison Ford calls, your out the door befor, e he hangs ups. Here's a couple guys that we didn't even have t, o debate, there coolness was unquestioned. Christopher Walken-Try and tell me you wouldn't want to hang out with this cat. He's played some of the coolest movie roles of all time, his brief work in ?Pulp Fiction? alone would be enough to get him on this list. Not to mention ?Things To Do In Denver When Y, our Dead? or ?The Suicide Kings?. Plus his work on ?Saturday, Night Live? is priceless. You find Walken at a party, sit down because your in for a good time. Sean Connery- The man's like 90 years old and my wife still wants to shtoop him, enough said. Plus he's James freakin Bond. Al Pacino- He single handily made Hoo-Hah an acceptable form of communi, cation. I fire one of those off on a daily basis. He also made ?Scarface? which is every athletes favorite movie and every ra, pper has a framed picture of him in their movie room. Sure every character he plays in every movie is the , same, but that's just testimony to how cool he is, because no one else could pull this off. He's also married to Mrs. Clark W Steve McQueen- Simply the coolest man to ever live. I will hear no argument to the contrary. Harrison Ford- Han Solo and Indian Jones anybody. The only question with Ford is which role is the coolest. I have to give the slight nod to Solo on this one. One of the greatest moments in movie history is in the ?Empire Strikes Back? when he is about to be frozen and Princess Leah tells him I love you, and Ford fires back ?I Know?. Case closed. Bruce Willis- Made it cool to be bald, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate that one. He's dominated the small Got a man you need to add to this list, let me know.
A Letter to a Friend Thank you Steve, Man Law Over the years I have been involved in a blue ribbon fact finding commission with the sole purpose of coming up with a , some basic rules of life. We have been doing this for the better part now of 10 years. Recently my mind has turned to our list with the Miller Lite "M, en of the Square Table" commercials. While not completely the sam, e, I generally feel they have ripped off the idea from us, and my lawsuit is in the mail Miller Lite folks. So I thought I would share with you the BRE faithful a little taste of the original "Man Laws" Scukanec style. Though I do wish Burt Reynolds and Triple H were somehow involved in my commission as they are way cooler than the shmucks I have working with me.
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show up as. Dutch beat out both Conan and John Matrix from Commando to make the team. After all he killed the Predator, how can you argue with that. He will be 2nd is command after Leonidas.
at QB. There were so many qualified candidates. Reno Hightower and his white shoes, Paul Crewe of the Mean Machine, Ampipe’s Rifleman just to name a few. But a QB has to be the total package, and that’s what Stan Gable is. Athlete, leader, Greek council president, you name it Gable has it. 
legality of having a mule on the field, but it's better to ask forgiveness than permission, so until the league says no, Oyage!! Plus no need to punt when Gus kicks 100 yard field goals. 
ys him is all right with me."How did your parents let you get so big?" "Man, he probably ate his parents." In the 3-4 you need a space eater at NT and Finch fills that hole nicely. 
Farmer Fran from the Waterboy almost had it, but the nod goes to the former Minnesota State Screaming Eagles mastermind. After all he coached a team to a national title with like 3 defensive players on the team. 
the Holly Grail of late night TV. Not only do you get to see Chuck Norris drive around in a big truck, kick some ass, and pretend to be a Indian. You also learn a life lesson from every, episode. 
Reader Ford pretty much summed it all up in that brief but beautiful statement. This movie has it all and while it stands up anytime of the day, it's scientific fact that after 1 AM it becomes the most powerful force this world has ever seen.
A friend of mine showed me this one morning and said if it didn't bring a tear to my eye than I was a robot. When I watched the clip, I managed to hold it together, but only because it was in front of my cop friend with whom I had just finished working out with. There was just no way either one of us was going to cry in front of the other unless one of us went Three Stooges and jammed a finger in the others eye. But the second time around away from the law this got to me a little bit. Especially for fathers and sons this is a must watch and will bring a tear to your eye. It's one of the coolest things I have seen in awhile. Enjoy and thanks to Joy for sending this along. 
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screen, the big screen and Demi Moore just for good measure. I was watching ?Armageddon? the other night and turned to my wife and said there's only one man I want saving the Earth, Bruce Willis. In Closing........ Yippiee Kaye Aye MotherF****er!!!!!!!! 
